Dear Diary
by Queen BEE 16
Summary: I am so in love with the terror this brings me! Frighten me in ways I cannot escape and make me love what should be hated! mangaobsessor. Who is invading sweet Maka's dreams? And how does she feel about it?


_**I am so in love with the terror this brings me! Frighten me in**_ _**ways I cannot escape and make me love what should be hated!**_

_**mangaobsessor **_

**This is the comment from a YouTube video that has inspired me to write this. The video if u want to watch it is called 'Agony'.**

**I know I should be working on other things but I don't care. I wanted to write this.**

**SO here it is. **

**-0o0-**

Dear Diary,

I battled with the Kishin today. He was strong I will give him that. I could barely touch him, but I would blame his scarves for that. I guess this is where Kid has an advantage over me. That, however, doesn't matter a lot to me. I will take the Kishin's soul. I will not let him torment people. I will not let him spread his madness. I don't care how strong he is. I don't care how strong he thinks he is. I don't care how weak people tell me I am. I will stop him no matter what. He may be powerful and he maybe evil but I will kill him. Well it's a school day tomorrow, and I need to sleep. Good night.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

I saw the Kishin again. It was really strange because it was in a dream. I don't know how it happened, and personally I don't really care. All I remember is that I was having a normal dream. I was fighting alongside my mother, which isn't unusual for me to dream. Then all of a sudden the whole dream froze in time, and a voice spoke above everything, "How cute. You dream about your mommy." The voice was calm, but also agitated at the same time. My dream then went black. Everything around me was the same gloomy color. When I looked around the area I only saw one person, The Kishin. I knew I had to do something. I griped the scythe blade from my previous dream and swung at Lord Death's enemy. The only problem was when I tried to hit him, the blade disintegrated in my hands. "That wasn't very nice, you know," he said before he to disappeared into thin air. As soon as he was gone I awoke with a jolt, almost wasting another one of Blair's 9 lives. Luckily Soul did not wake up. He would have asked about the dream and once he found out about the Kishin, he would try to protect me more then he already does. Not to mention he would get more people involved then there needs to be. Sure, I had one dream about the Kishin, almost everyone will when this is all over I bet. I won't tell anyone about this dream, not that I tell anyone my dreams anyway.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

I don't understand. I have had the same dream with the Kishin for the past two weeks. At first I would always attack him but he would leave right after and I would wake up. Not that I want him in my dreams to begin with. So tonight when I first saw him, I gripped my scythe blade and stood still. "Good, you have learned," He said with a small smile on his face. I never even thought of the Kishin smiling. The sight sort of scared me but also comforted me too. I didn't know where to put all of my feelings.

"What do you want?" I asked. It took the Kishin a long time to figure it out. It was almost as if he was confirming what he was doing with someone in the blackness.

"That is not something for you to know." I got angry, and gripped the scythe blade tighter. My knuckles were turning white.

"What? You come into my dreams and tell me I can't know why!" I yelled at him. Without thinking I swung my blade and tried to cut him. But like always the blade disintegrated and he told me it wasn't nice to hit people then was gone. I shot up in bed for the 15th time that month. I could not wait for the next night when I saw the Kishin again. I was going to find out why he kept coming into my dreams one way or another.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

I think my friends have started to notice something is wrong with me. The Kishin dreams are starting to drain me. It had been almost two full months since I had the first dream with the Kishin. I feel like I can't even fall asleep at night without seeing the Kishin's stupid face. I'm having trouble paying attention in class, and my grades were proof of that. Even my resonance with Soul was starting to suffer. My mind was always on the Kishin and trying to restrain myself of any violent actions. I knew that if I wanted answers out of him, which he was reluctant to give, that I would have to keep myself from trying to hit him at all costs. However, I don't think I am doing very well at it. Soul and Black*Star are frequently hit with my *MAKACHOP*. The only good thing that I have done was not give one to Soul when he referred to me as 'tiny tits' like he usually does. I think this is what really told my friends something was wrong. I can't tell them anything, I don't want to tell them anything. I will kill him and take my life back into my own hands if it's the last thing I do. I will see you soon Kishin, very soon.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

It had been almost 5 months since the Kishin infiltrated my dreams. I barley have any strength anymore to do anything. Unfortunately, Soul told Lord Death that something was wrong and how everyone was worried. Lord Death then talked to Prof. Stein, and now I have to do some therapy sessions every other week, ughh. So far he has figured out it is something in my dreams but not exactly what it is. I can only hope the Kishin goes away before he can figure it out. This might not sound like me but I'm not feeling like myself anyway; I am afraid of the Kishin. I am not even meeting him in person and look at what he is doing to me. I can't go to sleep, but I must. I have sometimes even seen him while I was awake. I collapse the moment I see him. He just smiles at me then is gone, as if he was never there in the first place. Of course that didn't make it never happen. People came over to me and asked what is wrong, and since I cannot tell them I just saw the Kishin I have to lie and say it was fatigue. I do not know what to do anymore.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

The therapy with Prof. Stein is working I think. I have not seen Asura in over a month. I am so happy. I can finally sleep without seeing Asura's face. My grades have gone back up and I am back to my normal self. I try to act like I never meet him in the first place but that is a long shot. I can't forget the feelings he gave me. I don't really know what they were but I miss them. It is really strange; I mean I don't miss Asura but I do at the same time. I have tried to figure it out but I have come up empty. I don't understand how Asura could give me something I miss so much. Also what scares me is what will happen when I kill him? Will I miss the feeling even more than I already do? I know I could get them back if I stop the sessions with Stein but I won't if I kill him. I am so conflicted I need someone's help, but who could I go to?

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

I have dreadful information. I talked with the one person I could trust without them judging me about it, Crona. He listened to everything I had to say, and tried his best to give some advice. Of course I had to deal with Ragnarok but that is a simple task. Crona has gotten better control of him, not to mention he is afraid of me. Anyway, when I explained everything Crona had only one thing to describe the feeling as, dependence. He told me when I helped him the night Asura escaped, he felt this towards me. He felt like he needed me to be next to him so he could remember how to live. I hope I don't need to be at Asura's side to live, I am the one that is going to kill him. When I got back home Soul and Blair were out doing whatever they do, so I decide to take a small nap before I started my homework. Here comes the bad part, I saw Asura. But unlike normally yelling at him, I ran up to him and gave him a tight hug. It shocked both of us, but what shocked me more was him hugging back. "I'm sorry I had to leave you for a little while." He said, and I could tell he was sincere about it. I didn't know whether to be mad that he left, or over happy that he came back.

"Why did you leave me?" I asked taking back my arms from around his waist and looking up at him.

"There are still things I cannot tell you." He replied. I didn't understand what he meant but I didn't care. I just felt so happy to see him again. I am sad to say I do not think I could kill him now.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

I am happy, and mad, and totally confused. I'm happy because I can see Asura and I can talk to him whenever I want. I see him when I am awake as well but I don't talk to him when I am around people though. We have some of the best conversation. We talk about almost everything. I am mad because Stein figured out he is back, and is trying to teach me something to try and keep him out. He says that he could get into my mind and make me tell him secret information about Death City's plans on killing him. This is what is also confusing me. I have devoted my life to killing Kishin eggs and creating the most powerful Death Scythe in existence, but I don't want to kill Asura anymore. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. This is going to sound strange and coming from me even stranger, but I think I like Asura. But not like I like my friends, more so. I think I am in love with him. There I've said it. I am in love with the first Kishin, Asura. I don't know what I can do now, because we can't be together. I feel like Juliet when Romeo killed Tybalt and had to leave her behind. Maybe I could run away and meet him somewhere. No, Soul will get worried and won't stop looking until I am found. This will defiantly be harder than just faking my death.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

Dear Diary,

I have made up my mind. I am running away. I love Asura, even if he scares me, eats human souls, and is Lord Death's number one enemy. I can't live without him by my side. He might even feel the same about me. I have not told him I am running away to see him, I want it to be a surprise. It will just take a little while trying to find him; my soul perception is only so strong and can only go so far. I will be saying good bye to Crona and Tsubaki, they have been the best of friends. I know I can trust them not tell anyone I am leaving because I have fallen in love. I might leave something for Kid, Liz, Patty, Blair, and Black*star just to let them know I remembered them. I have not told Soul yet, and I am not going to. I will be leaving a note that says not to find me. I don't know if he will listen to it, but it's the best I can do. If I tell Soul to his face he will do all in his power to stop me. I know people will search for me and if they eventually find Asura, they will find me as well, but I couldn't care less. I will be with you soon, my love.

Maka Albarn

-0o0-

DEAR SOUL

When you get this, I will be gone. I understand you will not get why I have left but do not worry, it was not because of you.

Please do not follow me or try to find me. If you do I will only try to leave again, and I will never be coming back.

I thank you deeply for being my friend and the best weapon anyone could have. I hope someday you become the Death Scythe you always wanted to be.

Give my best wishes to all of our friends.

Maka Albarn

**-0o0-**

**THE END I love the way this came out!**

**Thank you for reading this, and I hope you like it as much as I do. **

**Please review and I will get back to finishing the stories I am suppose to be writing. **


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